Denise Hildreth

It’s no surprise that in this pre-season (yes, I so have football on the brain-Gamecocks play their first on September 2nd in case you were wondering…) prior to my time of rest, which does not begin until I turn my two books in on August 31st, that my entire devotion this month has been on rest. Now granted rest means only from my normal work, because it is the beginning of cross country season for two of our girls, football season for Philly and Furman, new tumbling classes for two of our girls and acting for another. So, rest is a completely subjective word at this point, but for me it means a season of simply focusing on our children.

So, when I was reading I Kings last week and studying the life of Elijah, I was reminded something about quiet moments. That is where God is found and his voice is heard. Elijah is a prophet. Which isn’t the best occupation at the time because prophets are being snuffed out right and left by Queen Jezebel. (And you thought that was just a ficticious name I wrote about in Savannah from Savannah) He’s dealing with people who can’t make up their mind whether they are going to serve God or not, and he has just had this incredible moment where God has shown up and proven to the entire people of his nation that He is the God of heaven. I mean fire coming down from heaven and everything. And then Jezebel threatens him personally. She says, “May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severly, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.” (meaning the already dead prophets.)

And Elijah is scared. So scared he runs and hides. Now think about. Right before this he has just seen God move in an extraordinary way just like he has asked. And yet, because he’s tired, he loses all perspective and forgets how big his God is when Jezebel comes to him with this threat. And he runs. And he doesn’t just run. I mean he asks for his life to be taken. He forgets his value. “I’m no better than my ancestors.” He says. And then we’re told, he lays down and falls asleep. Poor baby is pooped. He just needs rest.

And in his need God is already there. Do you know what God does here that is so beautiful? He feeds him. I mean he takes care of his physical need. And when his physical need is taken care of then he takes him into his spiritual need and God reveals himself to him. “Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.” It was in that gentle whisper that God was heard.

How much is this like our life. God can show up in such extraordinary ways. We can have seasons where we have seen him do the impossible. Blow our minds kind of stuff! And then, because we’re tired, a moment of fear, or doubt, or question can cause us to lose all perspective and desire even to die.

For over two years I have poured out extensively. I’ve written three books, written and taught three Bible Studies, kept up two blogs and done three VBS for women, moved, lost my Maggie, got married to an amazing man and became the bonus mom to five extraordinary bonus children. And in the middle of all of that I have seen God move in unbelievable and awe inspiring ways. I’ve tasted of Him and He is so good. But I’m pooped. And in being pooped there have been extreme moments of fear. Like right before that door opens on a Wednesday night and five little lives invade my world. And in my moments of fear I retreat to my closet and words like “I’m not cut out for this.” “Are you sure you picked the right girl?” “Are you really that big?” And in the middle of those fears and my weariness God has been meeting my immediate needs. Like this weekend, he gave me and Philly a weekend with nothing to do but rest. I slept one morning until nine am (which I never do) and took a nap yesterday. And today I feel better.

But what I’m most excited about is the gentle whispers I’m going to hear in this new season. When my soul is quiet. Do you know that is what God is really after. He is really after us quieting our soul so we can hear Him. We can hear Him even during the hurricanes of life when we will quiet our soul. But it’s also okay to admit when you need rest. In fact, it is humbling. Because you realize, “Yeah, life can really move on without me involved in all of its details. God really is that big.”

I’m sure I’ll let you know some of things He whispers to me during this season. And I’d love to know what he whispers to you….

A couple weeks ago our kids virtue in Sunday School was patience. I’ve thought about that a lot lately. A couple years back I began to realize I actually enjoyed working in my garden. But there were some aspects of it, like my crepe myrtles that were just in no hurry to bloom. I wanted everything happening at the same time. But some things simply take longer.

I had to remind myself of this when I got home last Thursday after being gone for ten days. I had just finished up a wonderful book tour, and three fabulous days of an “VBS – goes on the road” event in South Carolina. For ten days I had received all kinds of praise and accolades. People would tell me how much they were enjoying “Hurricanes.” I received countless emails and postings on Facebook about how much VBS ministered to the ladies nightly. And then I got home…and I realized, not all rewards are immediate. Not all good gardens grow quickly.

Ministry hasn’t grown quickly…don’t get me wrong. It has been birthed out of my deepest places of pain, and I’ve been doing it for over a decade now. But the response is often immediate. And now with Facebook it seems even quicker than that!

I did have three of our five meet me down the road on their bikes and ride with me home. But their were other little hears not as thrilled that I was home. In those moments the human part of me tend to scream. Not surprisingly either as I had just taught on learning how to take our thoughts captive at VBS, that I’d immediately be attacked in mine. But when I settle my soul before my Father, I remember that good gardens, masterpieces, take time. Few things stood as stately or sweeping or beautiful in my garden as my crepe myrtles. And few things were more tempermental or slow. So, I reminded myself what I Corinthians 9 says, I am fighting for an imperishable crown. Soil takes a while to till, gardens take a while to grow, and hearts can take a while to enter. But eternal deposits…oh my…eternal deposits reap a beautiful harvest.

The other day I was sitting in the bathroom with Hattie and Holland as they were talking about how desperately they wanted something and I reminded them of their virtue that month. I told them God was helping them put their virtue into practice and that there was no better way than having to wait for something you so desperately wanted.

He does that for all his children. And the only way for something to be tested, or taught is to be experienced. Kind of like I am now. There are moments I wish I had a magic eight ball to shake and show me what life will be like ten years down the road. But instead I remind myself, “Let patience have its perfect work.” Because it does…it has a perfect work. “Do not throw away your confidence because it will be richly rewarded. If you perservere in doing the the will of God you will receive all He has promised.” And I know that is true. or “Do not grow weary in well doing for in due season you will reap if you faint not.” I always remind myself of this on the days that I am so weary in doing well. And my new favorite, “I will supply all of your needs according to my riches in Christ Jesus.” And I am thinking Jesus was pretty rich in patience. If I doubt it just think of how old Peter almost wore him out.

When I get my eyes off of the temporal and onto the eternal I hear phone calls ten years from now from our little ones desiring my input and opinion. I see grandbabies who will always have me as part of their memories and I see Mother Day cards that were actually given to me because of what the years have deposited.

It’s amazing in this life how it is so easy to forget that this isn’t our home. That we are strangers and pilgrims, so even our tools of survival here have to be other wordly. Few things are other wordly as patience. Father, as you test ours may it grow. As you remind us why we’re here may the journey get easier and on the days our patience has to be placed into action may we remember that in due season we will reap all the benefits of the beauty that crepe myrtles bring…may we remember this even as the season of all blooming is coming to an end…

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God doesn’t arrest me often. But every now and then he makes it very clear that he is trying to tell me something. And he is telling me to rest. Interesting too, because I was actually about to start a Bible Study for our Fall semester entitled “Beside Still Waters.”

For the last two years I’ve gone hard. Full throttle. Poured myself into ministry and not looked back. Until now. Now that life has drastically changed. On our honeymoon one evening Philly and I were talking about goals we had for this next year. One of mine was to simplify life. To let go of some things. I was thinking letting go of my singles blog, since I’m no longer single, but now that my book Flying Solo is coming out in January that isn’t an option. Not doing a Bible Study for a semester hadn’t even been on my radar. Until two weeks ago.

I had just paid the deposit for the facility and had a meeting to cover all of our bases for what we’d be responsible for at the church that we use. I was walking to my car when I checked my email and saw the revised flier for our new study in my inbox. I clicked it open, needing to get it printed, so we could advertise it at VBS- only to have my Father arrest me. The picture of the father holding the hand of the child in this beautiful, serene environment caught me. “I want you to get away with me.” I heard him whisper.

“I can’t,” was my immediate response. Yeah, you heard me I told God “I can’t.” After all I was just about to advertise it, I had just put down a deposit, I was finalizing the flier, and women were already asking if we were doing a new one. People were counting on me and all was in motion. I pushed it away. Even though it had stopped me dead in my tracks, I just pushed it away. Until the next morning when I was sitting out on my front porch having my devotion and it said the same thing. That there were seasons of rest. I sat there staring at the black and white words on the page of my devotional. “God are you really asking me not to do a Bible Study this semester?” I looked up and the STOP sign at the end of the street said it all over again.

“I hear you.” I said. But my flesh wanted no part of it. My flesh wanted “my” Bible Study. I felt the Father prick my heart again. “That is another reason you need to step back, it’s not yours. It’s mine.” Wow, didn’t see that coming. And so I opened up my hands and surrendered it back to my Father. And immediately sent out the message that there would be no study for the fall.

It’s interesting. Here I was about to begin teaching a Bible Study on the 23rd Psalm and having moments where God leads us “beside still waters.” And no one needed the still waters more than me. Why are we so afraid life can’t move on without us? Or maybe it’s just the opposite. Maybe we’re afraid life can move on without us and so we’re not as important as we desire to be. Either way our pride can quickly cause us to miss what God desires to say to us.

Philly asked me last night, “Babe, do you have any idea why God is asking you to do this?” I said, “I think personally it’s for quite a few reasons. But I’m not sure completely.” And I’m not sure what all God will reveal during this “being still” season. But what I do know is I need it desperately. I miss Him. I’ve been so busy in the doing, especially since I got married, the acclimating to life, the meals, the grocery shopping, the teaching, the preparing, the doing, that I’ve missed Him.

I haven’t found that “place” yet. Our communion place. Everywhere I’ve ever lived, we’ve had a “place.” I haven’t found a “place” yet here where he and I can meet. If I do nothing else this season, I want to find that place. I may try every room in the house and outside of the house, but I want “our” place. And I’m looking forward to being still.

Did you know that life is more than capable of going on without us. But we are not capable of going on without Him. I need Him now more than I ever have. And you might too. Know what else. He misses us to. So much so that sometimes he will arrest us from ourselves. Do you need to be still? He only asks us to because He wants to enjoy us. I’m looking forward to it…want to join me?

Last year when our first VBS was over I was sitting on my back porch taking in the amazing things that had happened in those three nights. I had been divorced at that time for two years. I hadn’t had a date. And wasn’t sure if God had somebody for me or not. I was sipping on a Coca-Cola, leaned back in one of my patio chairs and I told the Lord, “If you can make ministry this fulfilling, then I’m okay if it is just me and you forever.” I meant it. There are few things I’ve ever said that I’ve meant more.

I’ve had some wonderful opportunities through the years to minister. I’ve spoken at The Cove for a Billy Graham School of Evangelism. I’ve ministered in Poland and Ireland. I’ve traveled the states doing women’s conferences, speaking at churches and ministering in beautiful ways. But nothing impacted me more, than seeing women in my own city, from every background there is, the poorest of the poor, and the richest of the rich, worshiping, laughing, and being transformed by the presence of the Holy Spirit.

I’m not sure what you’ve done lately that has impacted your heart in such a way, but I encourage you in this season to ask the Lord, “Father, what would you have me do that would delight you?” Because in delighting Him, I guarantee that you will be the one who gets the real joy. God has created us for Him. He has created us with beings meant to accomplish amazing things. But more than that He has created us to show others the joy of knowing Him.

Next Monday and Tuesday night we’re going to open up the doors of The Journey Church in Building 8 at the Factory in Franklin to women from all over Nashville and from trailer parks to Tyne Boulevard. Some will be married, some will be divorced, some will be widowed, some will have never been married, some will be deeply wounded, some will be healing, some will be happy, some will be searching. And together, we will laugh, sing, cry, fight over door prizes, and learn about the Beauty that God is really after…

Need a get-away? Need a breather? Need a refresher? Need a break? Need healing? Need encouragement? Need a reminder of your value? Need a reminder of what you were created for? I have a feeling He will be present to meet every need…

Hope to see you there…

Oh my…how my days have changed. Used to Saturday mornings were spent heading out in my PJ’s to McDonald’s for a Coca-cola fix. Crawling back in the bed and catching up on the shows I hadn’t seen through the week. Then working for a couple hours, catching a movie with a friend and dinner and then heading home to bed. Ain’t so much that way anymore!

Two weekends ago Saturday morning consisted of four different breakfasts. One wants 4 waffles- count them 4. The other wants Rice Krispies, the other wants Fruity Pebbles- the other wants her special breakfast which consists of 11 mini pancakes- and do not think you’ll get away with 10- cool whip and strawberries. The fifth doesn’t want you to wake her up for breakfast. Then I sneak out- still in my PJ’s to get me a coke. I come back – make me some breakfast too-

Then it is drop off Hattie and Furman’s friends who spent the night. Drop offy at her birthday part- then drop off Hattie at her birthday party- where we forgot socks and she was at the bowling alley! Fortunately they now sell socks in a vending machine. Then Furman went to get his baseball pictures. I took the other girls to the movies. Came home fixed dinner, fixed dessert, took showers, read a chapter in “Fairy Tales” to Holland. Kissed Ebby goodnight. Read a chapter of “Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing” to Hattie. Kissed Furman good night. Patted Patricia on the head as I left her on the couch, because she stays up past the adults. And crawled into bed with nothing but a peck on Philly’s cheek.

As this past weekend came to an end, and the transitional difficulties are still looming large and fast, I found me my new familiar spot I am carving out with me and my Father. I have a new walking trail that goes through the foyer and through the family room. I was in a moment of self-pity over the fact that I’ve cooked every recipe in my arsenal and still haven’t found one they all like, and I was just plumb pooped. By Monday morning’s sister is doing all she can to keep her eyes opened. But I started quoting scripture. And Philippians 4:19 came to mind. “God will supply all of my needs according to his riches in Christ Jesus.”

All I could think this past Monday was all the needs that I so desperately have. My needs for wisdom, and patience, my needs to not take the remarks about my lasagna by a ten year old personal. My need for understanding and discernment. My needs are endless. But for the first time ever I grasped a hold of the last part of that verse. “According to His riches in Christ Jesus.” My supply for everything I have need of comes from the “riches of Christ Jesus!” Oh my…as Ebby would say.

I’ve never seen it that way before. Jesus has endless riches. He is overflowing in riches, and I am overflowing in need. And my supply doesn’t come from a half apt source. It comes from the Creator of heaven and earth who has all the riches of heaven at his disposal. And He is willing to dispose them on me. I will be quoting that verse numerous times this week as this is our first family vacation. While we visit grandparents, see movies, and go to six flags with a thousand other families and wait in the brutal sun, I’m sure there is an element of God’s riches I’m going to need. But the beautiful thing is they are so available.

I don’t have any idea what you need this week…peace, self-control,dependent upon Him. His tool for me in this season of life is five kids…I don’t know what His is for you. But in that season of perpetual need, He graciously comes with endless supply. patience, hope, passion…but God has it. An endless and rich supply of it. But you have to ask for it. Because asking proves we realize our need. And until we realize our need we will have no need for Him. God has a way of keeping us perpetually

On June 10th Landmark Booksellers on Main Street in Downtown Franklin will host the kickoff for my new book from 5-7. There will be light horderves, I’ll read a little, we’ll laugh a little and we’ll sign a little. Sneak away for a fun evening, and then can always walk down the street to Baskin Robbin’s, Ben and Jerry’s or Sweet CeCe’s for dessert. You can’t go wrong with any of it. Would love to see you!

For details you can contact my sweet friend Carol at Landmark landmarkbooks@bellsouth.net

Someone said the other day on Facebook to me, “I bet your going to change it to Monthly Musings.” I laughed then, but she may be right. I’ve just decided to write when I feel like I have something to say. Which might not be as often since I’m using up a lot more words now during the week.

But I got to sit by some quiet waters this week. I was desperate for it. Having lived for so long without children and only getting my three nieces for one full week out of the year I’m not used to so much activity. Two dogs need to be fed, pooped and occasionally walked, but they don’t require the energy of five children. We had the kids for five days last weekend and I never knew, first, that food could disappear that quick, or that you could be in the car for eight hours and never leave your own city! One lady told a friend of mine that she didn’t know what the big deal was, she had five kids. My friend said, “But you didn’t get them all in one day.” And I wanted to add, “Nor did you get three headed into puberty!”

On Tuesday morning I was dropping the four youngest off at school and got a lump in my throat thinking about not seeing them until Friday. I spent the rest of the morning running errands and about two o’clock that afternoon I felt like I had been run over by a Mack Truck. I could hardly hold my head up. I was headed to meet a friend for an early dinner and hadn’t planned on getting a coke, but changed my mind… Multiple times over the weekend my husband would ask me,“You okay babe?” And I just kept saying, “I’m so tired.” What I realized was that the mental energy it takes to navigate five hearts can make a girl tired.

So, Thursday morning when we were in Atlanta I didn’t have anything pressing to get up for and it was a good thing, because I couldn’t hardly get up. I was dead to the world. It was nine o’clock Atlanta time before I ever lifted my head up off of the pillow, and I’m not sure I would have done it then if Philly hadn’t come to tell me goodbye. At one point late on Thursday afternoon after having a sweet day of work I took a run and then went down to sit in a swing by the lake at our friend’s house. I grabbed a book (one I’m actually getting to read-Staying True by Jenny Sandford) and just sat. And while I was there I thought about the scripture from the 23rd Psalm. “He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside quiet waters.”

He didn’t necessarily have to make me lie down today. My body demanded it. But He did sweetly give me the opportunity for some quiet waters. But there have been times He’s had to make me lie down. Like the times I forget what Sabbath is for. That it is there to replenish me. To rejuvenate me. And so, he will allow something to come, maybe a good old fashion cold that confines me to my bed and forces me to rest.

But what about the times he leads us to quiet waters? Do we quiet ourselves? Do we quiet our soul? Are we able to even dwell in quiet? I walked into a home the other day of a person I don’t really know and almost every television in their home was on. And when I see something like that I immediately think, “Do they know how to be alone?” I used to crave noise. Because noise drowned out the screaming in my own heart of my own pain. But I have learned to love quiet.

Quiet is this sweet place where we can sweetly commune with our Father. It can be in the car, lying in the bed at night, sitting beside a lake, or waiting in the car pick-up line before all mayhem breaks loose in the car. Quiet is a heart place. A heart willing to get quiet is a heart willing to hear what God is speaking to it. A heart that runs from quiet is a heart who isn’t ready to face what is really in the depths of its own soul.

The weekend for me had brought some inner struggle. And I needed to quiet my soul before my Father, because I needed Him to speak to me. God speaks sweetly in quiet. We need quiet. We need it desperately. And if you are running from it you are probably running from something much bigger, yourself, your pain, your stuff. That is why at times he will make us lie down, because he loves us enough to make us confront our stuff.

If you get a chance this week allow Him to lead you to some “quiet water”. He will you know. He’ll nudge you to turn off the radio, turn off the television, and enjoy the beauty of quiet. Because do you know what comes after that passage? “He restoreth my soul.”

Quiet places are restoring and replenishing places. We had the kids this weekend. And that quiet place…that lying down place, renewed me, refreshed me, and gave me the energy for three birthday parties, two baseball games, two sleep-overs, two sets of grandparents, one reception, one small group meeting and a good old fashioned game of Laser-Tag! Hello Monday! I’m looking for some quiet waters….

I have a Gerber Daisy sitting in a vase by my kitchen sink. It’s in there with a forever rose that one of our little girls picked me. The gerber daisy is the first flower I’ve ever been able to leave church with on Mother’s day. I remember one mother’s day them asking me at the door if I was a mother. I wanted to say, “You have no idea all the things I’ve birthed lady!”

I will say that this mother’s day was different. I got a mother’s day card from my husband. I got all kinds’ of texts from my friends and cards too and even a wish from one of our kids. (this is all new to all of us.) So, it has been a different mother’s day in so many ways.

But the neat thing about this Mother’s Day is that they gave flowers to all the ladies. As I’ve thought it always should be. Because ladies were created to birth things. So, happy belated mother’s day to all of my women friends. I celebrate the vision you’ve birthed. I celebrate the ideas you’ve birthed. I celebrate the friendships you’ve birthed. I celebrate the children you’ve birthed both spiritual and biological. And I celebrate the fact that you were designed to give birth.

May this be a year that we realize that privilege. If you haven’t birthed something in a while it’s time. It is what we were created for. And to do or be any less is to be less than our original intent. Life is different today but it is still very much the same. I’m a woman who doesn’t know how to quit birthing things. This summer it will be our 2nd annual VBS for Women. A new book. And hopefully I’ll help birth some new vision and laughter and life into five little hearts. And maybe ignite some in yours along the way…here’s to women. Here’s to you…