Denise Hildreth

Sophie wants up on the sofa. She sits at my feet staring at me desperate for me to invite her to come hang out with me. Because she knows she’s not allowed up on the sofa unless she’s invited. Thus it begs the question how she can so quickly forget that she’s not supposed to poop in the house, eat the moss from the plant by the fireplace, or eat Maggie’s food, but I digress.

What captured me today though was when I let her up here she jumped clear across my study books and around the pillow to get over to me to give me some “stinky” Sophie love. Poor thing is like the little guy from Charlie Brown who lives with a perpetual dirt cloud around him. But it was her persistence that got me. She had already paced at my feet until I would recognize her. Then she sat and stared at me until I invited her up here and then she leaped over my books to get to me.

I’ve been that desperate before. Honestly, find that life keeps me in a perpetual place of persistent need of my Father. I demand him to recognize me, notice me, invite me, then love me. And do you know what I’ve found, he is more than desiring of that too. In fact, he has a thing for persistents, persistent widows, persistent friends, persistent prayers…kind of gravitates to it actually.

What I’ve noticed though in my own life is how quick I am to give up. When the answer doesn’t come quickly I get discouraged, move on, convinced he doesn’t love me enough to answer that anyway. Instead of persistently asking and trusting in the middle of my seeming lack of answers. Because I’ve discovered that often in my seasons of persistence that he is usually doing a much bigger work in me than what I am actually praying for. The “process” of my persisticence is producing something.

Do you remember the story of the friends who lowered their paralyzed friend through the roof. Do you know why they went to the roof? Because they weren’t going to be kept out. The door was blocked, the windows were blocked, the roof was grassed and mudded over, but none of it mattered, they were getting their friend to this healer. Do you know what moved Jesus’ heart for this man? The faith of his friends. The persistent faith of his friends.

Persistent faith moves God’s heart and it changes ours in the process. I have to believe that what He is most after is the posture of our heart during the season of our delayed request. Delays are never about God, his timing is always perfect. Delays are always about us and how persistent we are willing to be with our faith and our heart. Will we trust him in the middle of the delay? Because the reward is always the same…more time with him on the sofa…

Ever watched a nursing baby go after it’s mother? The flailing…the kicking…the grabbing…the desperation. I’ve seen mother’s before still breast feeding when the child could walk over and pull her shirt up itself…but that is for another day and another blog. Today I’m thinking about the baby place.

But there is another place. There is that weaned child place. The place of rest and peace. Where it can sit right beside it’s mother and never have to react in desperation for what it’s mother has. Because it knows that it will have whatever it needs. I’m been sitting in the passage in Psalms for over a week now. Psalms 131:2 ” But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me.”

Not always easy is it? Sometimes we’re far more like the flailing child. Desperate. Panicked. Searching. Scared. Life is uncertain. Jobs are scarce. Money is tight. Marriage is hanging by a thread. Children are wreaking havoc on your nerves. Depression tightens like a noose and we flail. We react in panic. As if we will get more if we do. As if the answers will come quicker or sound different.

Yet there is a place of rest for the soul…a quiet confidence in our sustenance provider that removes the need for flailing. That tells us we can rest in the fact that He will supply all of our needs. Not one thing that we have need of will He not supply. Whether it is direction, provision, or simply peace in the fact that things are still unanswered. And in the middle of it all can be an inexpressible joy. Children know joy. It is innate in a child to enjoy. Life and age are what damper the delight. But should it. Should everything that we experienced as children still be available? I would think it would have to be or Christ wouldn’t have said, “Unless you come to me as little children.”

There is something to be learned from a child. Watch one this week. If you don’t have one, borrow one. But may we take a lesson at the rested head on the chest, the delightful cackles and the peaceful sleep. And may our soul ask, “Lord…teach me once again what it is to lay my head on your chest and simply rest. Knowing that you have everything that I need…” You may be surprised at what you discover.

How often do you go out to eat?
A couple times a week- I like my own cooking…actually. I mean, I do cook fried chicken y’all.

How often do you tell someone you love them (friend or family)?
Anytime I’m with them.

How often do you curse in traffic?
I’m a Christian I don’t cuss:) No comment from anyone!

How often do you need the ATM?
I love that little magic cash thingy! What? That’s my money coming out of there!

How often do you wish for something?
Every day…

How often do you laugh so hard it hurts?
As often as possible…

How often do you cry?
When I’m not laughing. I’m a girl – give me a break…

How often do you say no so you can watch tv?
I have a DVR…

How often do close facebook to avoid someone on chat?
I don’t chat.

How often do you grocery shop?
On an as needed basis.

How often are you late for something?
I’m rarely late. But that could explain the three speeding tickets I got last year. But I wasn’t late!

How often do you miss someone?
I miss my mama all the time.

How often do you do something on a whim?
Part of my new journey is learning how to be whimmish! Getting much better at it. One of my whims gave me the idea for my new fiction book. So, I’ve found they can be a good thing.

How often do you change the radio stations?
As much as needed to find the song I like.

How often do you upgrade anything?
I’m not a real upgrader because I’m pretty frugal. But, I have upgraded my iPHone now everytime a new one has come out. My last iPhone I sold to our bus driver in Israel. Should I be saying that on here?

How often do you spend time alone?

Not as much as I used to…

Nashville is a winter wonderland. Well, okay, it was a winter wonderland yesterday. Today the sun is coming

Outside my front door

out and by afternoon I’m sure the winter wonderland will look a little more like dirty slush pond. But for a day everything was covered. And no remnant of the death that winter seems to offer could be seen.

When I was looking out my front door yesterday at the beauty of it all, I thought, “Where did all my scraggly plants go?” Even though it is all still there it was so beautifully covered and hidden. God is like that you know…Our junk is still there. But God so beautifully covers it all up with a reflection of himself. Snow has an amazing ability to reflect light. Did you know you can get a suntan from snow! Just saying…yes, I do know these things. And that is what God does with our lives. All of our flesh, our sin, our dysfunction, our fears, our anxieties…they are all still there. But heaven comes in and covers them with Himself.

It is there that we begin to gain his reflection. To become a reflection of Him. It is there that His spirit begins to saturate our flesh and our flesh becomes less and less visible and He becomes more and more seen. I still see my flesh way too much. I see it in my anger, in my fears, in my pride, in my doubts. I see it and wonder how all of that can still be in there. But in a moment God gives me a glimpse of Himself. Of realizing that His grace is sufficient.

It is always snowing somewhere. If not here…(and trust me it usually isn’t here- but somewhere in Alaska it is always snowing and Sarah Palin can see it from her back yard:) And it is snowing in people’s lives too. Covering their sin. Wiping over their shame. Bringing them a different reflection. And revealing that God is so loving and kind and faithful to wipe off the old and write the new.

My sweet friend Stephanie Boosahda wrote a song about this called “Somewhere it’s snowing.” I used to sing it years ago and didn’t realize that she wrote and recorded it until she sang it our VBS this past summer. But it is. Do you need it? Need a little bit of Him to cover up a lot of you? I do everyday. Some days I feel like the dirty slush I’ll drive through today. Other days I feel clean and covered. But I hope we never forget that when He comes in who we are is covered…completely covered.