Denise Hildreth

January of 08 I was coming home from Atlanta and was singing the song Moving Forward, by the Praise and Worship Team from Free Chapel in Gainesville, Georgia.

That was the day the Lord beautifully removed from me the heavy grief that I had been under since my divorce the previous summer.

Now, three years later, about to embark on a new journey with a wonderful man and his five beautiful children I found myself singing that song again. Divorce is a painful journey. And it doesn’t always have neat and tidy ends. Sometimes it is frayed and unkept. As the final pieces of an old life are being finished with the sale of my home after three years of being on the market and the final severing of a life I once knew I found myself having moments of grief. But driving to church yesterday morning I began to sing the song that had healed my soul so beautifully two years earlier. And I am…I’m moving forward.

I prayed diligently that God would just bring one man into my life. I told him I didn’t need free dinners or unnecessary drama. I just needed his man. He assured me he would. And this past summer He got him to me. He came with five children, not part of my picture at all, but thankfully I threw that picture away a year earlier. And in throwing it away I didn’t miss the man God had for me. And on April 10th we will begin a new life together.

It is funny…as a writer people often ask me what my favorite book is. And I always tell them, “they are like children, so you can’t choose.” I have finished one book of my life. The forty year book. Many of those years felt a lot like wandering in the wilderness if I’m being honest. And I am moving forward into the “promised land” book. When you finish a book you always wonder if you will ever have anything else to write. I’m so grateful to say God has already given me a glimpse of this new story that He is writing…

I don’t believe in fairytales. I’ve lived too long and been through too much to have an unrealistic view of where I’m headed. What I do have is confidence in a sweet Father who has given me a second chance at living…

There might be a story that God is calling to a close in your life. Let it go…all stories must eventually end. And trust, that He is about to write one that is going to amaze you…but you can move forward if you’re still holding onto the past.

I have a picture of my future…and it is full…and alive…and beautiful. I believe yours is too…

One of my favorite stories in all of the Bible is King Jehoshaphat story in 2 Chronicles twenty. He was facing this huge army.  I mean they had surrounded him on every side. But he decided to have an “unorthodox” war. He decided that this battle he would first pray. Then he called a fast. After doing these two things the Lord spoke very clearly to him.

“This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s…You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.”

When the day to face the armies came Jehoshaphat and his men decided to do something else unorthodox. They sent out men to sing praise to God in front of the army! Yeah, you heard it right. Plain crazy. Armies all around them and they send out a quartet! But as the people were singing the armies that were coming against Jehoshaphat pretty much self-imploded. They literally turned against each other and killed each other and Jehoshaphat and his army never lifted a finger. God did fight the battle.

Facing a battle today? Have someone or something coming up against you? Chosen the plan of attack yet? Decided you would fight it with your bitterness? Your anger? Your accusations? Your self-defense? How has that worked for you?

Could it be that there is a battle one in prayer, fasting and praise? I have to believe there is. I have to believe that if is worked for Jehoshaphat, it can work for us. I have to believe that in our silence, in our simply taking the position of not being afraid, of standing still and letting God fight our battles that there are victories that will be won.

So many times when we have been hurt, wronged, attacked our first response is to defend ourselves. But I have learned there is much healing in a quite repose. There have been times in life that my flesh wanted to scream its justification, its self-defense our of my own hurt or anger. But the times that I have done so have left me empty and shallow. But when I settle my soul, quiet my heart and trust that my Father will protect me, there is such a place of strength in that moment.

What do our accusations really accomplish? What does it really say about us when the only things spewing from us are venomous and vile? I think it reveals our heart. A heart in desperate need of its own healing. In those moments when we think we are declaring someone else’s extreme unhealthiness we are really clearly displaying our own.

God is more than capable to defend, protect, defeat and determine a new and better future for our lives if we’re willing to even give our hurts, pains and battles to him. It ain’t always easy…to be certain. But it is always beneficial. Because God can’t fight a battle that we’re not willing to release. He knows where you are. He knows what you need. And he knows the armies against you. Pray…dare to fast…and dare to praise and take your position while God fights your battle. Others will be blessed by your posture. And your enemies will self-implode…

The other week I wrote about my Sophie and how she begs to get up on the sofa with me. She loves it up there. Well, just a few days after that she decided to take a tour of the neighborhood without telling me. I mean she has gone to the neighbor’s yard on more than one occasion, but she always comes back as soon as I call her. I scold her and she does it yet again. But Tuesday a week ago I called and there was no Sophie. I walked up the alley in the freezing cold and no Sophie. I walked down the other end of the alley and still no Sophie. By now my pulse had quickened and my neighbor who lives directly behind me in the alley asked me what was up. By now I’m doing the ugly cry and headed to get my car.

She was headed to the bus stop to walk her little girl home and graciously put the word out that Sophie was missing. I climbed in my car and began riding through the neighborhood calling her name, crying as I’m driving. I finally pulled up to where the bus had just let off the kids and another neighbor and friend was walking her son home and she said they would get in their car as soon as they got  home and drive around too. They had just had to put their dog down the week before so their own wounds were very fresh.

So the search was on. Neighbor’s were in cars, walking back and forth down the alley and Sophie’s name was being called out all over. I finally parked and got back out on foot and that was when my friend and her little boy pulled up with Sophie in the car. She had taken a stroll all the way down the alley, across one of our main streets and been found by one of my neighbor’s sons and been reported to the clubhouse. So, they went and picked her up. The little toot!

I was so happy to see her that I didn’t even spank her this time. Usually if she goes to the neighbor’s and then comes back when I call her I swat her furry butt. (Not sure why because it sure didn’t prevent her from this excursion.) But this time I couldn’t spank her. In fact, I let her sleep with me. I was so glad to have the little ornery thing home that I let her sleep with me. I know, great parent I’ll make huh?

But I can’t help but remember that that is how my Father is. There are moments when I run off to my own whims and wishes and when he calls me and I come back he swats my butt .There are other times I can get lost farther, wooed in deeper, and before I know it even I’ve lost my way home. But he comes looking for me. And he calls out to me. And he will sometimes even send people into my path to speak to me. And when I turn my heart to him he grabs me and kisses me and holds me and puts me right at his feet. There is no brush off. There is no lecture. Sure there are consequences to my action. (Sophie was afraid to even go in the yard and pee for three days. Apparantly she too knew she was lost.) But even those can provide a hedge of protection for her future.

Often times we’re so afraid of the wrath of God that we think will await us if we turn our heart towards home, that we miss the fact that the love of God is longing for our heart to turn toward home. Sophie was so glad to see her mama. And her mama….well, her mama was so glad to see her. And I held her and kissed her and loved her and that is what our heavenly Father is longing to do with us. Don’t let your own shame cause you to miss how desperately He loves you. Because to hold onto your own shame and not receive His love is to say His cross wasn’t enough. And His cross was, is and always will be enough…

Well, after a long absence my new fiction book is in stores now!

I’m so excited. It all started with a free trip to the Atlantis Hotel that a friend of mine offered me in exchange for being the chaperon for the weekend for Miss Tennessee USA. (I am still in denial that I had to be someones chaperon). But sitting at dinner one evening with three other single women, one divorced with a child, one never married and one widowed, I knew I had the makings for a beautiful story. And I can honestly say it is one of the most enjoyable books I’ve ever written, and I have a feeling you’re going to fall in love with the crazy southern characters. So, don’t forget, on June 1st head out to your local bookstore, or order on-line and get you some beach reading.

And because I’m so full of southern hospitality myself, I thought it would be great to give you a sneak peak. So, click here to read the first chapter.

And even more exciting news. We are planning a “Book Getaway” at the Atlantis Resort in September as well! How fun would that be, the sun, the surf, and hanging out together over lunch and some book reading.

For more information or to book your trip to hang out together click here.

Now, from the deepest part of me, thank you for staying with me in this writing hiatus. My heart needed the healing. And even though life has officially changed since my marriage and the addition of five children there will still be time to hang out with you. And I’m looking forward to getting back there on the road and seeing old friends and meeting new ones. I still have some book dates coming up at the Barnes and Noble here in Cool Springs in August and in September where I’ll be visiting both Charleston and Sumter, SC. I’ve already had a blast in Atlanta, Columbia, Litchfield, Greenville, Camden and Elkin, North Carolina.  To get up to date info check out in the “denise’s events” section. So, come out and see me. And let’s find a little paradise even in the middle of life’s hurricanes…

Take Care,

Denise